May 25, 2018

FAN FICTION: Live Free or Die Hard: Worst or Best Idea?

Since I've been asked I'm going to upload my Live Free or Die Hard fan fiction again.

A master list can be found here.

Title: Worst or Best Idea?
Author: christikat
Fandom: Live Free or Die Hard
Pairing/Characters: John McClane / Matt Farrell
Rating/Category: NC-17
Word count: 9,600 altogether
Spoilers: none

Summary: Having Matt stay with him – worst or best idea John ever had?

Worst or Best Idea?

John enjoyed the genuine smile he received from Matt; he even smiled back in kind. Maybe he enjoyed Matt's smile a tad too much, maybe he had gotten attached to the kid more than he wanted. John turned around and stiffly walked back to his ambulance. It was a pity, really, because the kid had proven to be tough even though he had been scared shitless. He was easy on the eye too and more than once John had found himself stealing glances towards Matt. He sighed and tried to clear his head with a vigorous shake but it only caused him to feel lightheaded and stumble a few steps. Lucy eyed him worriedly before she helped him into the ambulance.

“I'm okay,” John assured her.

Back in the ambulance he stole a last glance at Matt. The kid was watching him and waved. John felt a sudden pang of loss surge through his body, the urge to protect Matt  almost knocking the breath out of him. Of course John knew that Matt wasn't in direct danger anymore but he'd have to face the FBI. Matt wasn't fragile nor was he even remotely dumb so he should get out of it without having a breakdown. Still, John desired to be there for him, comfort him, hold him close. He would go even so far as to endure the never-ending stream of words that seemed to blubber out of Matt, especially when he was agitated.

John sighed again, then thumped the back of his head against the ambulance wall. He scolded himself for being attracted to a 25-year-old hacker boy. Lucy grabbed his hand and scooted closer to him. She stared at him but didn't ask if he was okay. John was grateful for that and simply laid his arm around her shoulder. The ambulance door slowly closed and John stole a last glance over to Matt. He was startled to see the expression on Matt's face. The kid wasn't smiling anymore, instead he looked forlorn and vulnerable.

John's decision was made in that moment – he'd look after the kid a little bit longer. Just to be sure that the sudden media attention wasn't going to get to the kid's head, of course.


John didn't share the same hospital room with Matt but he made sure to get one next to him. He was relieved to hear that Matt's knee should fully recover and even stayed in the hospital himself. He would have released himself on his own risk after two hours but the kid seemed to be happy to know that he wasn't far away. The meds caused Matt to be sleepy and more quiet than usual which was surprisingly grating on John's nerves. Who would have thought that he'd miss to hear Matt babble all the fucking time?

The second day in the hospital Matt was a bit more awake. John had been apprehensive after the first hour because what did they have in common? Yeah, they survived the fire sale – or more precisely the almost fire sale – but that was it. John had no interest in all the computer stuff or the dolls Matt collected. They settled on watching TV and surprisingly they found out to like watching basketball. Even more surprising for John was that Matt knew the rules. When he voiced his surprise he had to suffer through a five-minute rant from Matt, informing him that just because he's a computer nerd doesn't mean he had to be clueless about sports.

John interrupted the angry litany with a growled, “For heaven's sake! Kid, just shut the hell up.”

“Don't call me kid, gramps!”

John had to give it to the kid – he had rendered him speechless for a few seconds. Matt's facial expression was provocative and defiant at the same time, daring John to take the bait. John took it, got slowly up from his chair and closed the distance between them. When he had sat down on the edge of the bed his eyes darted a glare towards Matt that caused the very same to swallow hard. John was aware of Matt's squirming but determinedly leaned forward. He was sure to hear a hiccup while Matt closed his eyes. Matt was waiting for something – John just wasn't sure for what.

Matt obviously didn't expect John to take hold of his chin, suggesting in a low rumble, “You might want to re-think how you call me. Got it?”

“McClane, McClane, I'll call you by your name! That's alright with you, right? Geez, why do you have to go all caveman all the fucking time? I-”

“Don't you have an off-button? Shut up and let us watch the game in peace.” A small smirk settled on John's face before he added, “Matt.”

Matt muttered something unintelligible and John let it go for once. He went back to the chair and made himself as comfortable as possible. Ten minutes later he turned his attention from the screen to Matt and found him sleeping. John studied the kid's profile, somehow feeling relieved at being able to do so but at the same time feeling like a pervert. Holy fuck, that kid was half his age! John had to call him kid simply to remind himself of that very important fact. Yet, he allowed himself to drink in the sight of Matt.

Some strands of Matt's hair obscured his left eye and John fought against the urge to brush the hair into some kind of order. He doubted that Matt's hair could be brought in any kind of order and wondered how it would feel and smell. John gave the growing bulge in his pants a hard squeeze which caused it to wane effectively. He really didn't need Matt to wake up and see John getting hard just by watching him.

John swept his gaze down from Matt's hair to his exceptionally long eyelashes, then further on to his lips. They were glistening as if Matt had licked over them just a few seconds ago and it didn't help John to get rid of his newly filling erection. Uncomfortably he shifted on the chair and gazed at Matt's throat. The hospital gown he was wearing was loose on one side and revealed his clavicle. John imagined how it would feel to dip his tongue into Matt's clavicle, then lick a path along his throat up to his mouth and-

Abruptly John bolted upright which elicited a pained moan out of him. Matt didn't stir while John debated about his possibilities. His erection pressed painfully against his pants and the bulge was highly visible. The way from Matt's room to his own was suddenly much too long. It sounded silly after all John had been through but he was absolutely not keen on walking along a hospital corridor with a ragging hard-on. Since he was running out of options he ventured into Matt's bathroom and locked the door behind him.

The opening of his zipper was ridiculous loud but it reminded John to be as quiet as possible. His cock sprang free and John didn't waste any time before stroking it roughly. The first drops of pre-come oozed out of the tip and he smeared them over his cock. He kept on stroking himself fast while he struggled with his breathing. He imagined his hands becoming replaced by Matt's hands. They would be warm, lightly trembling in the beginning because Matt had to be at least a little bit anxious, then they'd act more confident. John felt his balls tighten when an unbidden question formed in his head. Had Matt done something like this before? With whom? An annoyed growl escaped John's mouth; being unreasonably jealous wouldn't help him solve his problem.

John took in a deep breath, spread his legs a bit more and forcefully pushed in and out of his fist. Now it weren't Matt's hands that were gliding up and down his cock, now it was Matt's mouth that was engulfing him. The image of Matt kneeling in front of him, those huge brown eyes staring at him while he sucked John's cock, pushed John over the edge. He threw his head back, his mouth wide open in a silent shout as his climax shook him. He was still panting and didn't dare to move in case he was fainting – now that would be a new one: hero found in the bathroom with his limp cock dangling out of his open pants – when he heard Matt calling out for him.

“McClane? Are you still here?”

“Yeah, yeah. I'm here. Can't you leave a guy some privacy just for a few minutes?”

John heard Matt grumble something which certainly wasn't a term of endearment. Quickly he cleaned up the mess he'd made and tucked himself back in his pants. He flushed, then washed his hands and re-entered Matt's room. The kid eyed him wearily and asked, “You okay? You seemed to take forever in there. I was worried you might need help and then you didn't answer and I heard weird noises and-”

“Calm down, okay? I'm fine.” For good measure John glared at Matt. He pointed at the screen and laid a finger over his lips to indicate for Matt to be silent. Fortunately the kid complied while John thought that he really could have used Matt's help in the bathroom.


On the fifth day Matt was able to use crutches and John's shoulder felt almost good. He had always been a fast healer which came in handy considering all the injuries he had already gone through. So when Matt got released John stayed at his side. Matt was packing his belongings in his bag when John cleared his throat and asked, “Where are you going now? Do you have a place to stay?”

Matt shrugged his shoulders in what should come across as a nonchalant gesture but John noticed all the subtle signs of distress. Matt's lips were pressed together to a tight line and he covered his eyes with long strands of hair consciously. John wanted to shake his head, what was the kid trying to do with the hair? Playing if I can't see you than you can't see me?

“I'll find a place.”

“Do you have money to pay for a hotel room?”

Matt actually snorted as he lifted up his head. Incredulously he looked at John. “Will ten dollars be enough?”

“For me anyway. You're staying with me until you've sorted out everything. Come on, kid, let's go. The hospital air is making me nauseous anyway.”

Matt gaped at John but was unable to say anything. Smugly, John registered that he'd just found a way to render the kid speechless. Not that this lasted for more than a few seconds.

“Seriously? I mean, I mean, wow, thanks. Um, really? I can stay with you? You're not going to kill me after a few hours in my sleep or anything like that? Wow, you're like a big-”

“I don't want to know what I am, are we clear about that?”

Matt hunched his shoulders while his eyes darted around. “Sure, sure. You don't have to go all authoritarian all the time. I'm capable of understanding normal language, you know.”

“Normal language never gets you to stop talking.”

“So you're just a badass to intimidate me?”

“I'm not intimidating you, I'm coaxing you into shutting up.”

“Even though it's on behalf of my dignity and I'm sorry for correcting you but you are intimidating me.” Matt's face was flushed as he spoke and hobbled after John. He was sweating by the time they reached the elevator. Nervously he shuffled around with his crutches and made a few steps backwards before he announced, “I'm taking the stairs.”

Hastily Matt hobbled towards the stairs, obviously trying to escape. He had to stop when John laid a hand on top of his shoulder and ranted, “What the fuck are you talking about? You want to master four flights of stairs? Come on, kid, using the elevator is quick and much better for both of us.”

Matt shook his head and took another step towards the stairs. Cheerfully he said, “You go and take the elevator, I'll rather take the stairs. Exercise and all.”

John placed himself between the stairs and Matt which earned him a whined, “McClane, please.”

John's eyes narrowed and wordlessly he scrutinized the kid. Matt's hands were trembling slightly and he swallowed repeatedly. Slowly realization dawned on John. “You're scared to go into the elevator?”

“No! No. I mean why would I be scared, it's just an elevator, right? Nothing to worry about.”

John let out a sigh, then tugged at one of Matt's sleeves. “Kid, don't lie to me. You know that I know when you lie to me and you also know that I don't like it – at all.”

“I'm not-”

Kid! Do you want me to get angry at you? Because you're on a good way.” John watched Matt duck his head in embarrassment. Some people were glancing their way, waiting for a show. In a low voice John added, “It's not gonna crash and burn.”

Something that John didn't want to give a name, pulled sharply at his heartstrings when he saw the fear flickering in Matt's eyes. The kid sucked in his lower lip while he looked at the elevator, then back at John. Gently, John laid a hand in the small of Matt's back and gave a light push, stirring him in the direction of the elevator. Matt's back felt clammy under his palm and the muscles taut. Yet, John's hand tingled in a pleasant way, causing him to berate himself that Matt was out of reach for him. At least figuratively spoken.

John kept on pushing Matt forward when the beep of the elevator proclaimed its arrival. He listened to Matt's breathing getting faster when the elevator started and kept his hand at the small of the kid's back. Simply for reassurance and offering some kind of comfort of course.

Matt almost tripped over his own feet when the doors opened again. Only John's quick reaction saved him from falling and probably hurting his injured knee. John couldn't decide if Matt's cheeks were tinted in a bright red because of embarrassment or something else entirely. He took in a deep breath and guided Matt on safe ground. He had to get the idea of more than friendly interest in the kid out of his head – it could only end in a disaster.

“How are we getting to your place?”

“Lucy should be here in a second, she'll drive us.”

“You trust her to drive?” Matt's voice had a stunned quality to it which caused the corners of John's mouth to twitch.

“No, I don't,” he replied flatly. “But neither of us can drive and it was either Lucy driving or an incompetent taxi driver. She will at least try to get us home safely.”

John could practically see Matt's brain get into high gear as he puzzled about John using  the word home. The kid tried to conceal how hard he thought about it with pulling an impassive face. John sighed inwardly, the kid was one of the worst liars or pretenders in a face-to-face situation he had ever seen. He scolded himself for sending out mixed signals to Matt but fuck, home just slipped him. Technically it was even the correct term to use and not his fault if Matt was taking it too seriously. John took in a calming breath to prevent himself from babbling non-stop in his head. Matt's yackety-yak was obviously rubbing off.

They reached the entrance without reporters hassling them and only five minutes later John discovered Lucy. Pushing Matt in the right direction, he plastered a cheerful smile on his face before greeting his daughter. He braced himself for a probably hurtful embrace but was rendered speechless. Instead of hugging her father, Lucy threw her arms around Matt and held on tightly for a few seconds. Matt was unable to reciprocate the embrace and his face spoke volumes of his bafflement. Wearily he glanced at John and mouthed, “Not my fault! Don't hurt me, 'kay?”

“Could you jump him later? Where's your car?”

“Over there,” Lucy pointed to her car with an annoyed sigh. John turned around and briskly walked to the car. Lucy rolled her eyes, then asked Matt, “Didn't he get his coffee? Oh, and whenever you feel up to the jumping-thing … drop me a line, okay?”

John heard Lucy's last statement and felt rage starting to boil within him. It was stupid to feel this way, he knew that much. He should be happy about Lucy's interest in Matt – at least he wasn't a dumbass. Yet, he couldn't deny that the dominant feeling was utter jealousy.

By the time Lucy and Matt had reached the car, John had gotten a grip on his feelings. Or at least he could conceal his real feelings by then. He helped Lucy to settle Matt in the backseat of the car. Matt's nervousness was almost palpable as his eyes jittered back and forth among Lucy and John.

Finally they were all seated and the drive home could start. John didn't even comment much on Lucy's driving skills while he lost himself in thoughts. Having Matt stay with him was probably one of the worst ideas he'd ever had.

They survived the ride home although the conversation was strained and the atmosphere tense. At John's apartment Lucy wanted to help Matt walk the one flight of stairs upwards which led to a lot of awkward stammering on Matt's side.

“You could simply say that you don't want my help,” Lucy snapped.

John pitied Matt for being on the receiving end of a death glare from her while he also felt oddly relieved. It seemed that Matt wasn't as interested in his daughter as it had appeared a few days ago. Another possibility was that maybe Matt was afraid of what John would do to him if he reciprocated Lucy's flirting. John let out an annoyed sigh, his life was so wonderful.

In the apartment John went to the windows and opened them to let out the stale air. He turned around and saw Matt standing in the middle of the living-room, looking forlorn and out of place.

“I hope you don't expect me to tell you to have a seat all the time now,” John grumbled. A small smile tugged at Matt's mouth and tension fled his body visibly. Finally he sat down on the sofa and inspected John's living room from that position.

“Hey, guys, do you want me to fix you some sandwiches before I leave you alone?” Lucy shouted from the kitchen. She really had to have it bad for Matt when she even offered to make them sandwiches. Even though John was a tiny bit jealous, he was also amused.

Amusement fled him when he heard Lucy exclaim a disgusted, “Eeew! Dad! Your food lives! Oh shit! None of you is in the condition to clean the fridge and get new groceries without ending up in the ER. Damn! I knew that I should have just driven you home instead of coming upstairs too. Do you have gloves anywhere?”

John got some gloves and helped Lucy cleaning out the fridge as much as she let him. After the third pained hiss from him, she shooed him out of the kitchen and told him to keep Matt company. Matt obviously didn't need company as he was balancing his laptop on his thighs and tapped the keys in a breathtaking tempo. John sat down and switched on the TV to watch the news. Matt's head snapped up upon hearing the presenter. His eyebrows knitted together while his lips twitched. A warning lingered in John's voice when he suggested, “Whatever insane bullshit you wanna say right now about watching news, you better forget about it.”

Matt's mouth opened, causing John to fear that he would have to establish some ground rules in his home after a few minutes already, but Matt clicked his mouth shut and turned his attention back to his computer. Matt peered over his computer screen when the presenter spoke about the heroes John McClane and Matt Farrell having left the hospital – together – an hour ago.

“Hero?” Matt echoed while he shook his head. “I guess the Feds will think differently about that. I didn't see a reporter when we left, did you?”

“No, I didn't. I don't get why this is so important that it makes it into the news,” John replied. He groaned when the phone started ringing and muttered, “Fuck. Time to get a new number again, I guess.”

“Huh? You think this is a reporter?”

“Of course this is a reporter, kid. They are like the plague, always asking the same questions over and over again.” John got up from the sofa and pulled the plug. “Ah, silence, so much better.”

Lucy came into the living room, holding a big garbage bag in her hand. “Guess, I'll better head out now to get you guys some groceries before there's no coming through the crowd.”

“Thanks, Lucy. Give me a call when you're back so that I'll help you getting through the crowd.”

“Sure thing, Dad. See ya!”

Lucy left and John made sure that the front door was securely locked. Matt had turned around and eyed him with a mix of curiosity and weariness. He gestured vaguely towards the door, then asked, “Is this really necessary? How long will there be reporters standing outside?”

“Why? Do you already have enough of my place?” It came out way more snappish and peeved as John had intended. Matt's eyes widened and he cocked his head to one side. It was a sight of Matt that John liked a tad too much because the kid looked even younger than usual.

Matt rolled his eyes and brushed some strands of hair out of his eyes before he answered. “No, that's not what I meant. I'd just like to go to my apartment, see if there are things that didn't get destroyed and bring them to your place. If … if that's okay with you?”

A curt nod was John's answer. He still wasn't sure if having Matt stay with him was the best or the worst idea he ever had but right then he didn't care. “You wanna have a look at your room, kid?”

“Stop calling me kid!” Matt threw his hands up in the air, then put the laptop aside. He fumbled with his crutches and swayed shortly before he walked towards John. “Sure, show me.”

“Getting demanding, aren't we, kid?” John smirked when a scowl appeared on Matt's face. He held his hands up in a placating manner and told Matt, “Calm down, Matt.”

He was sure to hear Matt muttering something like jerk but didn't comment on it. Instead he lead the way to his spare room which was only furnished with a bed, a nightstand, a small desk and a chair. “Nothing spectacular but at least you have a place to stay. I'll get you some linen for the bed.”

John came back with the linen and watched Matt putting it on the bedding. When the kid was done, he laid down and stretched out his lanky frame. His shirt slid up and revealed a small patch of white skin. John's finger itched with the desire to touch Matt's skin, feel the muscles ripple underneath his fingers. He cleared his throat and moved to the window in the room that was now Matt's room. He thumped his head against the glass at seeing the first sound truck parking in front of the building. John glanced to Matt who stared at him questioningly.

“The reporters are there. You better get some rest now, they'll become a pain in the ass with all their ringing, knocking and shouting questions later. We'll get your stuff tomorrow.” John left the room with a wry smile on his face. He absolutely did not need to bring some space between himself and Matt to get rid off the image of Matt being sprawled out on the bed in such a delicious manner.


Lucy got back with the groceries, John got into an argument with some of the reporters and later stomped around the apartment, cursing and ranting. Lucy just rolled her eyes, wished Matt goodbye with pressing a kiss to his forehead and slipped out of the building with using the back door.

John poked his head into Matt's room and asked, “Hey kid, Lucy brought frozen pizza. How about that?”

“Sounds great.”

John nodded while he wished that Matt would tuck his shirt into his jeans instead of exposing even more skin. He rubbed a hand over his face and splashed cold water into his face when he was back in the kitchen. Seriously – this was spiraling out of control. Not to mention that John's horny attitude was plain ridiculous.

When the pizza was ready he called out for Matt. They ate at John's kitchen table, both trying very hard to get a conversation flowing. It didn't work out so they fell into silence. John realized that no matter how much he liked the kid, they wouldn't work out as a couple. Even if Matt would be interested, there were their different life-styles and the huge age difference. Hell, they couldn't even have a little small talk during their meal. Sourly, John got up after dinner and cleared the table. He was pulled out of his train of thoughts by Matt's hand on his shoulder and a softly spoken, “Let me? You already allow me to stay here. Guess I should at least help you a bit.”

“You need your crutches to walk, you won't be helpful anyway.”

“You shot yourself and can't wash the dishes. I'll simply put most of my weight on my good leg. Now get lost.”

“Kid, we're going to have a heart-to-heart talk about your behavior later. Right after you've washed the dishes.”

Matt's eyes widened in mock-anxiety. “Oh, I'm so scared!”

John gave Matt's earlobe a quick tug which was accompanied by a playful growl, “You better be.”

Matt chuckled and John went over to the sofa. He listened to Matt puttering around in the kitchen and sometimes answered questions about where to put the dishes. When Matt had finished he joined John on the sofa. The awkward silence was back and John had to suppress the urge to squirm around. Matt wasn't that successful and his restless squirming began to get on John's nerves.

“You got ants in your pants, kid?”


“You can't keep still for more than ten seconds. It's annoying like hell.”

“Oh, sorry. I … I was just thinking that you seem to be angry since we ate?”

“Is this a question or a statement?”

“I'm not sure. It's-”

Matt was cut off by John's work handy ringing. John groaned but flipped the phone open with saying, “I hope they've got a very good reason for calling me.”

John listened shortly, then gave the phone to Matt. “For me?” Matt asked surprised.

“Yeah, FBI wants to talk to you.”

John watched Matt's face go pale and heard him exclaim, “Shit!” before he took the phone.  Attentively John listened to the one side of the conversation. Matt was fiddling with the hem of his shirt, again pulling it up so much that skin got revealed. He got so lost in his observation of this patch of skin that he lost track of Matt's conversation. He jumped when the phone got thrown into his lap.

“They'll send a car tomorrow morning at 10. They want to have a word with me. Shit, I did not know that my algorithm would be used in a fire sale. I already told them that a hundredth time! I didn't even know that I was doing something illegal!” Matt gestured wildly with his hands and tousled his hair until it looked like a complete mess.

John closed his eyes briefly, wondering if the kid even had the tiniest clue what he was doing to him. After having cleared his throat, John spoke reassuringly, “I don't think you've to worry. You're a hero, don't forget that.”

“No one cares about a hero for long after everything is done. Nevermind that they could still make my life a living hell because I was involved in the whole thing. They don't care that I didn't know-”

“Kid! Shut up! I'll go with you and hold your hand if that's what you need to shut up now, 'kay?”

John failed to interpret the look Matt gave him but at least it got him to shut up for almost a minute. Certainly it was John's imagination playing tricks because he could have sworn that Matt's voice sounded hoarse and cracked at the end.

“You … you'd come with me? Seriously?”

“I take it that there's no one else available to go with you?”

Matt's face closed off immediately. He sunk back into the sofa cushions, crossed his arms above his chest and scowled at the TV screen. His words were polite but his voice was strained when he replied, “Thanks for the offer. Despite what you think I'm adult enough to get interrogated on my own.”

John arched an eyebrow upon hearing the snappish comment. “Suit yourself.”

Wordlessly Matt got up, took his bag with the laptop and hobbled over to his room. The clicking sound of the door was obscenely loud. John allowed his head to loll against the backrest of the sofa and let out an explosive sigh. Matt seemed to have gone sulking and reminded John very much of Lucy and Jack when they were small children. That image helped John to sober up again and also helped that his erection waned to a manageable size. The whole time through Matt's rant John had feared that the kid would accidentally glance at John's crotch. Though John didn't feel guilty for getting a hard-on when Matt simply looked as if he'd need a hug, preferably while sitting on John's lap.

John took in a few calming breath as he could feel his member swelling again. Zapping through the channels he forced himself to clear his mind, hoping to get rid of the images of Matt writhing naked on his lap. Half an hour later he had to concede defeat and walked to his bathroom. The bandage around his shoulder prevented him from standing fully under the cold shower spray. To support the effect of the cold water he stroked himself fast and hard, causing him to spill his release in record time against the tiles.

When John was dressed and back in the living room again, Matt emerged from his room with a sheepish smile on his face. “Um, sorry for … you know …,” he trailed off.

“Don't fret about it.”

They fell into silence but this time it wasn't awkward rather than agreeable and comforting. Until they started to argue about the program.


Precisely at 10 am, John watched a nervous Matt getting into a car. He tried to occupy himself to shake of the feeling of having thrown the kid to the lions. Even though Matt had made it perfectly clear that he didn't want John's help, which John suspected was founded in his comment yesterday, Matt had looked pale.

John's various attempts of keeping himself busy all failed within an hour. He gave up and laid down on the sofa where he stared at the ceiling for what seemed to stretch into an eternity. All his thoughts circled around Matt, no matter how hard he tried to avoid it. As time went by his thoughts tormented him with vivid images of Matt in various states of undressing himself. John licked his lips, wishing this was real, that he could touch that lanky and sinewy body. At least he assumed that Matt was sinewy. Despite his delicate build he seemed to possess strength and stamina.

Speaking of stamina – John hadn't gotten so many boners in such a frequency before he'd met Matt. It was getting so ridiculous that it was almost laughable. There was just the problem left how to get rid of another hard-on. John wasn't keen on Matt watching him masturbating when he came back. He growled in annoyance and went to the bathroom to take another cold shower. Wasn't it supposed to be good for the circulatory system to take cold showers regularly? John could always pretend to do his health a favor, right?

When John emerged from the bathroom again he almost bumped into a grinning Matt. “Hey McClane. Shower time again? I didn't take you for such a cleanness freak. Wasn't this already the second shower today? You wanna hear what they wanted from me?”

John squeezed himself past Matt and grumbled, “If I say no you'll either tell me anyway or sulk.”

“I don't do sulking but anyway, you're right, I'd definitely tell you.” Matt limped after John and tried to catch up with him. “McClane, you won't believe it but they offered me a job. Me! It's fucking unbelievable! I mean, I'm not sure that I really wanna do it but they'll pay good and I could really need the money. Still need to replace a lot of my equipment and ...”

John was leaning against the counter of the kitchen, a can with coke in one hand and smiled at the sight of a happily chattering Matt. For whatever reason Matt had trailed off and stared at him. He tilted his head to one side which led to those few long strands of hair  obscuring his eye and John's stomach made a sudden flip-flop. Damn, he was definitely too old for getting this lovesick.

“Aren't you going to say something?” Matt asked, irritation showing in his voice.

“It's not that easy to get a word out if you talk like you're on speed. Congratulations to the job offer. That's what you wanted to hear?”

“I'm … not sure. Hey, I'm … I'm going to do something because I think it's a good idea or, uh, well, I kinda feel like doing it but I don't want you to clock me and …”

Matt drew in a shaky breath while John was still processing Matt's words and trying to get the meaning of them. Matt put his crutches aside and closed the distance between them. It was John's turn to inhale sharply when Matts arms were suddenly flung around his waist, tightening his grip for a fraction before letting go again. Matt looked downcast and started babbling again. “It's just, it's … I wanted to hug you for so long because … because you saved my life and you know. Oh, I don't know, it just felt like the thing to do. You're not going to slap me or something, right?”

John chuckled which caused Matt to lift up his head. A relieved smile settled on Matt's face. It widened when John asked, “I saved your life and all I get is one single hug?”

John spread his non-injured arm in invitation although he knew that he was playing with fire. Concern was forgotten as soon as Matt followed his invitation and embraced John again. They stayed in that embrace for quite a while with Matt resting his head on John's shoulder. John's hand laid on the small of Matt's back and it felt good, felt even right to be there.

Reluctantly John let go off Matt when the same withdrew. Matt's face was flushed when he picked up his crutches. “Guess I owe you some more hugs. Feel free to remind me. Oh, by the way, those guys were really nice. They stopped at a bakery and I got some doughnuts and candy. Since I couldn't find anything like this here.”

“That's because I don't eat candy.”

“You're not really a health freak, are you?”

John smirked upon seeing the incredulous look on Matt's face. “Nah, I'm not. Let's see what you got. Did you pay that with your last ten dollars?”

John took the bag from Matt and carried it over to the sofa with Matt in tow.

“Actually yes but hey, it's a good investment.”

John had to agree after tasting the first bite of his doughnut. They joked around and made themselves comfortable on the sofa. John watched TV while Matt balanced his laptop on his knees. Matt's fingers seemed to fly over the keyboard and all John could think about was how much better those fingers would feel around his length. Quickly he stood up and offered to get them cans of soda. He really needed to get his nether regions back under control!


Five weeks later

Matt didn't have to use his crutches all the time anymore, only when he wanted to go long distances. He had started physical therapy and bitched about it endlessly. John had gone back to work a week ago but was chained to his desk and mountains of paperwork. Although he had wanted to go back to work really badly he realized that he missed having the kid around him 24/7. Partly this was because he worried about Matt. When John wasn't at home Matt forgot to eat regularly and he conveniently forgot about going to his physical therapy sessions too.

Even though they had gone to Matt's old apartment together and saved as much of Matt's belongings as they could, Matt ended up there regularly. He would claim that he was still searching for some of his stuff but John couldn't help to recognize the turmoil Matt was in when he came back. In addition to this Matt seemed to attract trouble whenever he went to his old apartment. Once a guy held a gun at his head, wanting Matt to hack into the bank account of his wife. Another time a woman tried to convince Matt of marrying her on the spot and another woman tried to allure Matt into spending his sperm.

John was relatively sure that Matt hadn't told him everything. Sometimes John nagged Matt about the events that took place at his apartment but Matt had found the ultimate way to stop him from pressing the subject. Matt would cock his head sideways, smile at him sweetly and then embrace him. Sometimes the hug would only last a few seconds, sometimes much longer. John didn't mind the hugs at all, he even reciprocated in kind. It felt good to hold Matt in his arms, to reassure himself that the kid was alive and doing well. Of course those embraces fueled his imagination as well.

For the first time during the last years John was looking forward to go home after work. Hell, he was even smiling when he stepped out of the building and slid behind the wheel of his car. It wasn't just because there was someone home, meaning that John didn't have to eat alone. It was Matt who was at home. The kid wasn't exactly waiting for him or greeting him with exquisite meals but sometimes he did cook. He had taken the FBI's job offer but still was able to work most of the time from home.

Matt was often so absorbed in whatever he was doing with his computer that he didn't notice John's arrival. John had formed a habit of going over to Matt and greet him with laying a hand on his shoulder. Matt always craned his head and smiled at him, his eyes sparkling with obvious joy. Often John recognized himself bending down as if to kiss Matt. He always caught himself but the last three days it seemed as if Matt was disappointed in him afterwards.


Another week later

When John came home today he was cranky. The day had been boring, Matt hadn't picked up the phone, causing John to be on edge throughout the day. He wasn't the type to snoop after the kid although the worry drove him nuts. Matt was supposed to be at home today so it was only understandable that John was concerned. Back at the apartment he slammed the door open, then shut it with equal force. Throwing his keys on a small table in the hallway, he stomped over to Matt's room.

At least the kid was expecting him when he entered his room. The smile on Matt's face got replaced with trepidation when John stormed over to him, grabbed his chin in his hands and tilted his head backwards. Matt's usually warmly shining eyes were clouded with uneasiness and a hint of panic. John kept on holding Matt's chin with one hand while the other slid over Matt's hair to his neck, squeezing there gently. John was still fighting with himself about his next action when Matt whispered, “Come on, McClane, please do it.”

Matt's pleading effectively shut off all doubts within John. It also caused John to forgot completely that he was pissed off at Matt for not picking up the phone. He bent down and pressed his lips against Matt's. The kid reacted immediately with bringing his hands up and around John's neck, holding him tightly as if he feared John would bolt. John had no such intention; instead he lowered himself on his knees to decrease the pressure on his neck and back. Yeah, sometimes it sucked to get older but Matt didn't seem to mind. On the contrary he scooted closer to the edge of his chair and looped his legs around John's torso.

An almost animalistic growl escaped John's mouth and he nipped sharply at Matt's lower lip. A gasp was his reward, followed by a pitiful whimper when he drew back from Matt's lips. “You want this? Why didn't you say something?”

Matt snorted in disbelief while he tried to pull John's face closer to his own. John scowled at him to get his message across that he wanted an answer, preferably now. Matt gave in but kept on stroking over John's bald head. John almost didn't hear Matt's words because Matt's hands were warm, gentle and just the tiniest bit trembling.

“I'm not sure if this is what you want. You … you sent out mixed signals. Sometimes I was sure you'd want this but then again not. I thought it might be the age difference, you know, that you think I'm too young or … or unexperienced. Which I'm not, by the way and-”

“I don't want to hear about your past experiences. You can show me how experienced you are. Right now.

“Demanding, aren't you? What comes next? You're going to throw me over your shoulder and carry me to your cave? Oh sorry, I meant bedroom of course.”

It was clear that Matt was joking but John couldn't resist a challenge. He smirked, then slid his uninjured arm around Matt's waist before he ordered, “Hold on tight.”

What? McClane, I was kidding! Your shoulder!” Matt was spluttering but crossed his legs around John's back when John lifted him up from the chair. “You're insane.”

John just grinned at the kid while he carried him over to his bedroom. John debated if he should throw Matt on his bed to show him the ropes but decided against it. He didn't want to hurt Matt by accident so he sat down on the edge of his bed with Matt coming to a rest on his lap. “Don't tell me you didn't like that.”

A lopsided smile settled on Matt's face before he kissed John again. John groaned when Matt's tongue flicked out and teased him. He opened his mouth to grant Matt access which elicited a full body shudder of Matt. John's hands wound up under Matt's shirt, feeling bare skin for the first time. His fingertips tingled as he traced Matt's surprisingly well-defined stomach muscles. John felt Matt grinding his hips against his own and wanted nothing more than to get the kid naked.

John rid Matt off his shirt, then held him by the shoulders to take in the sight of Matt's exposed torso. Matt was slender yet sinewy and every muscle very well defined. John wondered briefly if Matt was working out secretly but quickly got distracted by Matt pulling at his shirt. Matt stared at John's body for a while before he brushed with his fingers over John's shoulders, then went further along his chest. His eyes lingered a bit longer than necessary on the various scars. John was grateful that he was past the age where he would have felt uncomfortable with being scrutinized.

Matt shifted on his lap, winced almost imperceptibly and stretched out his left leg. He scooted closer to John until their torsos could touch for the first time without having layers of clothes between them. John pressed his nose against Matt's clavicle, breathing in the scent of him. It elicited a chuckle from Matt, “What are you doing? More caveman-stuff? So that you can find me anywhere by following the lead of my scent?”

“Did anyone ever tell you that you're talking too much?”

“Yup, quite often actually and you keep reminding me on a daily base.”

“Guess, I better make you shut up.”

Matt laughed at this comment. His laughter rumbled through his chest and shook his whole body. John held on more tightly and rubbed his hands over Matt's back. He let them wander to Matt's ass and squeezed the globes firmly. Matt's laughter changed into a gasp, then into a moan that ended with another plea, “McClane, ah, feels good. More?”

“You bet. How about calling me John instead of McClane? Sounds less formal in bed.”


It was all Matt said but it still sent shivers up and down John's spine. Matt's eyes were sparkling as he smiled at John. The kid definitely knew how to cause John getting lightheaded even without having climaxed. John took in a calming breath, then hoisted Matt up from his lap which gained him an irritated glance.

“Lay down. Better for your knee and my shoulder.”

Matt nodded in understanding and rolled on his left side. Impatiently he tugged at the waistband of John's jeans. While pulling at the jeans he opened the button and the fly and licked his lips. John refrained from asking if Matt was hungry. Instead he helped Matt along with wriggling out of his jeans. Matt's hands dove into his briefs and almost ripped them  off John's body. Matt's impatience was turning John on, especially when his erection was suddenly sucked into Matt's mouth in one long movement.

“Holy shit, kid!”

John's erection was hit by cool air as quickly as it had been surrounded by incredible heat. Matt's face was hovering inches above John's crotch when he growled, “Call me kid once more while we're at it and you're going to finish by using your own hand.”

John blinked in utter bewilderment. He wasn't used to someone else growl at him, nor did he like it. Yet, he understood Matt's position, kind of at least, and simply replied, “Okay, okay, get down to business again.”

Matt smirked but didn't give another comment. John's hips bucked on his own volition when Matt twirled his tongue over the head of his erection, then sucked him deeper and deeper into his mouth. John's eyes were closed as he concentrated solely on the feeling of  Matt's tongue exploring him, tasting him. With great effort John pried open his eyes to small slits and lifted up his head from the pillow. He groaned at the sight of Matt lying between his legs, his head bobbing up and down in a steady rhythm.

John's groan caused Matt to stop in his ministrations. He looked up at John which ripped off an even more guttural groan from John's throat. He was watching Matt gazing at him with his lips still wrapped around John's throbbing member. Matt held eye-contact while he moved his head up and down. The heat, the suction, the disheveled sight of Matt was almost too much for John. He kept himself in check for a while and enjoyed the concentrated features of Matt. John's dick twitched rather suddenly and oozed out pre-come as soon as Matt began fondling his balls, sometimes rolling them, sometimes pulling at the sac. John noted mentally that he had to interrogate Matt about his sexual education because he was a damn master at what he was doing. Just – not right now.

Matt chose that moment to wrap one of his hands around the base of John's erection while the other one kept teasing his balls. He licked a path up and down the pulsating flesh, then sucked hard on the head of John's cock. John couldn't hold back any longer. He slapped Matt hard on the shoulder as a warning sign but Matt only shook his head. John gave in to the inevitable and let go with a howled shout. All his nerves were on fire when he shoot his seed into Matt's mouth, hips bucking wildly as he tried to thrust upwards into that welcoming cavern. He caught Matt off guard for a second but again John was amazed to find out about the strength Matt possessed. He pressed John's hips down with using his bodyweight while he licked John clean.

John was still catching his breath and mulling about when was the last time that he had experienced such an intense orgasm. He couldn't remember and quite frankly – he didn't care. Matt's face was resting on John's rippling stomach muscles and somehow John was able to get enough control over his hands to card them through Matt's thick hair. It took him a while to discover that Matt wasn't resting peacefully rather than squirming restlessly. Matt's breath ghosted over his cooling skin, sending shivers throughout his whole body. Finally John got his wits together and asked, “Need a hand?”

“Oh, thank God! I feared you'd pass out or that you'd never ask.”

John shook his head about the kid's comment. They were going to have a heart-to-heart talk in the very near future about various topics. He wasn't sure if he was looking forward to that talk but he was pretty sure Matt would try to weasel his way out of it. John sat up and helped Matt to get rid off his jeans. From Matt's insouciant demeanor so far he concluded that the kid wasn't shy in bed. John was surprised at seeing Matt starting to squirm and tugging at the comforter to cover himself when he silently mapped Matt's body with his eyes.

John laid his hands on top of Matt's hands and stopped him. “Don't,” he simply said. It was a demand but not said in a harsh voice. John saw Matt's Adam's apple bob up and down several times before he obeyed. John pushed against Matt's chest and smoothly glided on top of Matt, covering him with his own body. Matt gasped at the sudden body contact and trembled underneath John.

“Scared?” John mumbled after nibbling at Matt's throat.

“Insecure might be the better word to describe my current state of mind,” Matt babbled. He was opening his mouth to go on with talking but John had a different plan. He plunged his tongue deeply into Matt's mouth.

John savored the reactions of Matt. He reacted eagerly, enthusiastically and those little whimpers he emitted did wonders for John's libido. Even though he knew that he wasn't going to get it up again he felt his dick swell slightly. John propped himself up on an elbow, then cupped Matt's face in his free hand. He stroked his thumb repeatedly over a cheekbone and took in the sight of Matt's dilated pupils, the erratic heaving of his chest, all showing how much Matt enjoyed this situation. Maybe this was a good idea after all.

John was pulled out off his thoughts by Matt's hoarse voice. “Are you just going to stare at me? Because … because I'm about to explode.”

“You're uncomfortable with me watching you?”

“No, I'm outright crept out by it. I never took you for the tender love-making guy.”

“A few minutes ago you complained about me acting like a caveman.”

“I changed my mind.”

John grinned broadly and was rewarded with an alarmed look crossing Matt's face. He scooted down, pushed Matt's legs wide apart and nipped sharply at the tender flesh of Matt's inner thighs. Matt's gasp quickly turned into a litany of expletives when John licked over the engorged head, along the shaft to Matt's balls and finally ended with flicking his tongue against Matt's entrance. After this Matt seemed to have lost all ability to talk.

John observed Matt's sighs getting a deeper timbre whenever his tongue pressed against Matt's perineum. John had always been intent on pleasuring his lover and loved finding out what the other person liked the most. Matt's back arched up when John sucked the tip of his dick into his mouth and hummed around it. John memorized how taut Matt's stomach muscles were pulled, how his legs fell wide open, how he breathed John's name.

He wished he would be younger to be able to get it up again. John had experience in giving and receiving hand- and blowjobs but as he gazed at Matt's sprawled frame he had the urge to claim him, take him, mark him. Hell, John didn't even know if Matt would be okay to get fucked by him. He decided to mull about his sudden desire later which was an odd thought as it was. Later – that implied more than John was willing to face at that moment. Instead he concentrated solely on eliciting those wonderful noises from Matt.

John had expected Matt to babble non-stop and was surprised to find out that Matt didn't talk at all. Having sex was obviously the easiest way to shut him up, John mused. Matt didn't talk but his body told John everything he needed to know, as did the soft moans and whimpers. John knelt between Matt's thighs and kneaded his ass muscles in his hands, feeling content with the knowledge that Matt liked it whenever he squeezed firmly. Matt's cocked twitched in John's mouth at these ministrations and the first droplets of the bitter fluid laved onto John's tongue.

Matt's eyes were closed but flew wide open when he jumped over the edge. His mouth was open, forming a perfect O while his hips bucked erratically; only John's valiant grip on Matt's hipbones prevented himself from choking. He allowed Matt to ride out his climax and finally let Matt's softening cock slip from his mouth. One of Matt's arms was lying across his face, hiding his eyes while his breathing came still in irregular puffs. John's gaze lingered on Matt's pliant and sated body before he got up to get a washcloth.

“Oh!” Matt exclaimed when John came back with a wet washcloth and a small towel in his hands. “I thought you may have a freak-out about what we just did.”

“We had sex. Why would I freak out about that?”

“Because … because … I don't know. Maybe because you're the straightest guy I've ever met?”

John threw the washcloth and the towel aside, then climbed into bed and laid down beside Matt. “If I'm that straight why did I just suck your dick?”

“Um, okay, you have a point there. Sorry, I guess you just sucked my brain out of my dick.” Matt looked at him out of heavy-lidded eyes, a lazy smile was settling on his face. “Can I stay here? In your bed?”

John wasn't sure if it was advisable for him to give any kind of comment now so he stayed quiet. He smiled and pulled Matt close to him. Matt startled but quickly slung one arm around John's waist and pushed one leg between John's legs. A satisfied sigh could be heard when Matt had nestled up closely to John.

John was waiting for an impudent remark which thankfully never came. He covered them both with the comforter and stroked over Matt's bare back until Matt's breathing evened out, indicating that he was asleep.

As John held Matt in his arms and felt the warmth of Matt's body seep into his own he realized that this definitely had not been his worst idea. It had been a good one, maybe even a very good one.


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