May 25, 2018

FAN FICTION: Live Free or Die Hard: An Unexpected Guest

Master list can be found here.

Title: An Unexpected Guest
Author: christikat
Fandom: Live Free or Die Hard
Pairing/Characters: John McClane / Matt Farrell
Rating/Category: PG-13

Notes/Warnings: established relationship, domesticity

Summary: What the hell is Matt trying to hide from John?

An Unexpected Guest

“John! Oh, hi! You're back!”

John leaned against the door frame and raised an eyebrow. Matt's chirped greeting set all his alarm bells off. “Yeah, I live here too. Remember?”

“Oh, oh, yes, I … I meant to call you before you drive home because I wanted to pick you up a, uh, curry from the store,” Matt babbled. He was standing in the door frame, effectively blocking John's way into his apartment.

“Curry.” The eyebrow rose another inch.  “I'll pick it up tomorrow. May I enter now?”

Matt scuttled from one foot to the other while he tousled his hair in a nervous gesture. John's alarm bells were shrilling sharply by then. Yet, he stayed where he was, a half-amused smile settling on his face.

“Um, but I … I need it for dinner. Really, no shit, man. The risotto will taste totally stale otherwise and then I'd have wasted two hours in the kitchen and-”

“I'll get it,” John declared after he'd sighed deeply. He shook his head and wondered what the hell had gotten into him as he walked back to his car.

“Thanks!” Matt yelled after him. John only gave a dismissive wave with his hand.


Twenty minutes later John was back and put the key in the lock. This time there was no one blocking his way. He shrugged off his jacket and laid his gun on the small table next to the door. Before he could turn around, Matt encircled him from behind and squeezed. “You got it?”

“Yes, maestro.”

John handed Matt the packet, loosened the grip around him and kissed Matt soundly on the mouth. Matt yielded against him and allowed John to claim his mouth. John took full advantage of the situation, leaving both men breathless in no time. John smirked when he heard Matt panting and inspected him closely. His eyes were glazed and his lips swollen - a very endearing sight in John's book. He rubbed his thumb along Matt's lower lip, a gesture which always caused Matt to sigh and close his eyes in contentment.

Suddenly John froze and hushed Matt while he cocked his head to one side. He listened attentively until he heard an odd scratching sound that came from the direction of their bedroom again. In a swift move he pushed Matt behind him and his gun had miraculously found its way into his hands. In a low voice he commanded, “You stay here.”

Matt groaned and gripped John's upper arm with both hands. John shook him off with an irritated grunt but Matt scrambled after him. “John! John, wait!”

John swiveled around and glared at the younger man. “There's someone in our bedroom. Now is not the time to get clingy. Keep quiet and stay here. I'm not going to repeat myself, got it?”

Matt sighed and grabbed John's arm again. In an angry outburst John shoved him aside, leaving Matt dazed and stunned. Within the few seconds it took him to be aware of what was happening John had reached the bedroom. Matt ran after him and shouted, “No! No! John, wait!”

The icy cold stare that was directed at Matt sent shivers rolling up and down his spine. It wasn't the first time he was at the receiving end of that stare, but it was undeniably unnerving. Practice made perfect, right? He stepped around John and placed himself in front of the door with a pleading look on his face.

“You know who's in the bedroom, I take it?”

It wasn't a question and it most definitely didn't cause goosebumps to arise all over Matt's body. He blinked nervously while he fumbled for words, “Please, put the gun away. It isn't necessary, really.”

They heard another scratching sound, this time accompanied by a high-pitched  whine that ebbed off into a sniffle. Matt watched John's jaw clench, struggling to keep eye-contact. He cringed visibly at John's next words, “Matthew. Open. The. Door.”

Matt hated this tone, especially when it was directed at him. Conceding defeat he swallowed, turned around and opened the door. Nothing happened at first, then a little black-haired head peered around the door. Matt bent down and suddenly he had his hands full with a yipping and barking ball of fur.

“What the hell is that?”

John's incredulous question drew Matt's attention away from the happily panting puppy. Hastily he picked it up and cradled it in his arms. “This … this is Charlie.”

“Charlie.” John repeated. He pierced Matt but secured his gun. “Tell me again why Charlie is hiding in our bedroom.”

Matt wrecked his brain for a satisfying answer to this question. One that would delay the actual confession for a little bit longer. “You remember our new neighbors? The young woman upstairs? She … she is the owner of Charlie and … and had to go to a conference unexpected. Well, and … she asked me to take care of Charlie.”

“For how long?”

Matt's eyes widened in surprise. Did John really believe him? Quickly he replied, “For … for three days.”

“Kid, you're the worst liar ever. Someone's in for a good spanking session, huh?”

Matt felt his cheeks burn up while hot waves of shame surged through his body. Feebly he asked, “That obvious?”

John didn't bother answering Matt's question instead he said, “Let's do this again. Why was Charlie hiding in our bedroom?”

“Look, it's, um, kinda difficult to explain it in a way that you won't clock me so … how about dinner first?” Matt put on his best pleading look; the one in which his eyes got even bigger as usual, a small, tentative smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

John had to close his eyes briefly, to be able to withstand the temptation and simply follow Matt's suggestion. When he opened his eyes again the puppy's tail was swooshing from side to side and he rubbed his head affectionately against Matt's cheeks. Matt in return scratched the puppy behind his ears while he eyed John warily.


“Aw, shit! Come on, man, don't go mad. I … I can explain it, really, I can, I-”

John cut Matt off with a growled, “Then do it. Now.”

Matt caught him completely off guard when he came forward and pressed the puppy in his arms. John went rigid but the puppy only glanced at him, before planting a sloppy lick over John's nose. Matt beamed at him, “He likes you. Come on, pet him a bit, will you?”

“I still have the gun in my hand and you still didn't give an explanation.”

Matt took the gun from John and disappeared in their bedroom for a short moment. When he came out again, John was stroking the puppy and repeated, “Your explanation. Spill it.”

“Excuse me but what was the question again?”


The threat in John's voice was clear and Matt had no other choice then to blurt out the whole story. He started to pace up and down the hallway as he rambled, “You … you know that I was helping the city setting up new systems in their shelters? Well, today I was in the last one, the one that's only four blocks away from here and when I said goodbye the boss of the shelter asked me if I wanted to take a tour and I said yes.”

John groaned in exasperation. “Of course you said yes. Go on.”

“There's not much more to it. I saw Charlie and took him with me.”

“Matt, you gotta have to be kidding me.”

Matt shook his head and unsure of what to do next he stayed a few feet away from John. “It was love at first sight and they would have put him to sleep this evening. I couldn't let them do that, he's just a pup. Also, you said I need to go outside regularly and with a dog I'd be forced to go outside at least twice per day so it's a win-win situation, right?”

“I can't see what I'm winning by keeping a dog.”

“It would make me happy and a happy Matt makes for good sex which translates into a happy John?” Matt came within reach of John. Seeing that Charlie was still on John's arms and they were also still talking to each other rather than yelling, Matt took a chance and pressed a kiss on John's cheeks. “Please?”

John opened his mouth, clicked it shut, then tried again. Matt inwardly celebrated when John asked, “Do you even know anything about dogs? Because I don't and I'm not taking care of it.”

“Him, not it,” Matt corrected automatically before he went on. “Yes, I do know a lot about dogs. Believe it or not but there were always dogs at my parent's house and I know what I'm getting us in. Why do you always think that I'm inexperienced in whatever I'm doing? You should know better about me by now.”

John scowled at Matt for reminding him that he'd assumed to be Matt's first lover. Begrudgingly he had to admit that Matt had taught him the one or other new trick in the sexual department. He couldn't think of a witty reply so he snarled, “Smartass.”

“Love you too,” Matt said casually. “You're okay with keeping Charlie then?”

Matt bit down on his lower lip to prevent a huge grin from spreading out all over his face.  John was seeing his hopes fading and desperately tried to come up with something. “What breed is it anyway? Don't tell me it'll stay this small or only grow a little bit anymore. It'd be embarrassing to walk such a dog.”

“Nah, it's a Bernese mountain dog. It'll get that big.” Matt showed a height with his hand. He smiled smugly when he saw the appreciating look on John's face about the size of the dog. He knew that he had won.

“Why did you try to hide it – him, from me?”

“I was still thinking about how to break the news to you,” Matt answered sheepishly.

“Did it ever cross your mind that you maybe wouldn't get your way?”

“Not really. Actually it went more along the lines of how you're going to punish me for going behind your back.” Matt felt his knees go weak at seeing a mischievous smirk appearing on John's face. “Uh, you're not … you're not really thinking about punishing me, right? I mean, like, you know you're not gonna hurt me physically?”

An almost deafening silence stretched out between them, causing Matt to start sweating profusely. He wiped his wet hands off at his jeans and suddenly felt very small under John's calculating stare. “John?”

“After dinner we're going to take Charlie out for a walk, then we'll go straight to the bedroom and I hope for your sake that you don't need to sit down tomorrow.”

Matt carded a hand through his hair, not sure what to make out of this statement. Right before John turned around Matt saw his lips twitch. He breathed out heavily and scowled at John's retreating back. “That was evil. You scared me.”

“Payback is a bitch, isn't it, kid?” John replied nonchalantly.

Matt followed John who still held Charlie in his arms. “John? Charlie is going to sleep in our bedroom, right?”

Matt ducked away from the flying couch cushion just in time.


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